People who travel, read or are aware of current events are a joy to talk to. A well-rounded individual is a fascinating one. Would she mind telling you more about it? People love to share what they know and nothing increases confidence more than sharing a subject close to your heart.Įffective communication begins and ends with knowledge. If it's a subject you know nothing about, use that to your advantage – to find out more about the subject. After all, they’re offering you information, so it’s rude not to show an interest in it by failing to ask a follow-up question – even if it’s as simple as, “So how did you feel when that happened?” Take an active interest in what this person is interested in. Stay focused, absorb the information given, and find a way to follow up with a question relevant to the subject the other person is discussing. That can be lead to bigger embarrassment than asking too many questions. Don't be thinking of what you're going to say next, or you’re likely to miss what the person is saying. After all, the most powerful words in any language are a person’s name! Listen Twice, Speak OnceĪs the old saying goes: "You have two ears and one mouth for a reason: so listen twice as much as you speak." So while the other person is talking, give him or her your undivided attention. Use the person's name often over the course of the conversation. Saying a name aloud helps to cement it in your memory.
When asking someone's name, repeat it immediately. So one question and answer at a time is a good rule of thumb for effective communication. This is a sure way to make someone feel uncomfortable. Be careful though don't make clichéd assumptions or rattle off a string of questions. Does he have a detectable accent? If so, ask where she's from or take a guess, if the accent is recognizable enough. When you ask a thoughtful question, one thing leads to another and in a short time, stories are shared and the ice is broken.įorget about the weather and stay away from politics and religion! Comment on something the person is wearing.
Instead of asking, "Are you enjoying yourself?" ask a more open-ended question like, "What do you think of this party?" Part of effective communication is learning how to phrase questions that make the other person think. This makes them feel good about themselves – and about you, because you seem so interested in what they have to say. By asking a more open-ended question – something requiring a more detailed answer – you encourage the other person to elaborate and offer more information. One of the quickest routes to an awkward silence is asking questions that can be answered yes or no. But remember to keep your end of the conversation short if you want it to continue. Talking about themselves for a while tends to make people want to return the favor by asking you a question and then listening as you speak. It also creates a situation where the other person feels obligated to reciprocate. Showing interest in them helps the other person feel more at ease and boosts his or her confidence. Having good communication skills means you have the ability to get others to talk about themselves, instead of making them listen to you. Nothing kills a conversation faster than rambling on about oneself. Many people make the mistake of talking too much about themselves. It also lends credibility to what you say. When two people make eye contact, effective communication is possible. And avoiding eye contact shows disinterest – or in a worst-case scenario, dishonesty. People who lack confidence tend to avoid eye contact. The first rule of effective communication is looking a person directly in the eyes. A self-confident person makes others feel better about themselves. A person with a strong sense of self tends to move quickly past the small talk to invite everyone into the heart of the conversation. It attracts others to you like a magnet, because on some level, your self-confident attitude shows that you’re worth other people’s time and effort to get to know. Good people skills start with confidence. But how do the rest of us learn how to communicate with others? Let's start by exploring seven easy-to-follow steps. They listen well and have a strong sense of confidence, or even a charisma, that endears them to others.
They just seem to have a natural flair for conversation. Read on for some top tips on becoming a more natural conversationalist and communicator… Communicating is easy for some people. Nearly everyone talks, but do you communicate? Learning the art of effective communication requires skill.